In this Author POV, we talk with Maggie Lovange, parenting author and founder of Evolving Parenting, an approach built on the belief that as children grow, parents grow with them. Her work blends research, real-life experience, and deep empathy—shaped both by her academic study in childhood and youth development and by parenting three children, including her daughter Renée, whose struggles with anxiety inspired Maggie’s first book.
Lovange is the author of Dealing With Teen Anxiety, a practical, science-informed guide for parents navigating the confusing early signs of anxiety in their teens. Renée later offered the teen perspective through her YA novel, To Disappear Quietly, giving families the rare opportunity to understand the same emotional landscape from both sides of the relationship. Together, their books help parents and teens build connection, compassion, and language for difficult moments.
In our conversation, Lovange discusses the origins of Evolving Parenting, what families can learn from viewing anxiety through both a parent’s and a teenager’s lens, and how her resources—books, journals, and her upcoming project HackParenting—support libraries, schools, and caregivers seeking tools they can use right away.
Can you introduce your book for librarians who may be discovering it for the first time?
Dealing With Teen Anxiety is a practical guide for parents who already see their teen struggling and don't know what to do next. The book explains how anxiety can show up as anger, low mood, shutdown, or "attitude," and why what looks like defiance is often fear. It gives parents simple tools based on cognitive behavioural therapy, real-life examples, and reflection questions they can use at home. It does not promise a quick fix or a "cure," but it helps parents stay present, calmer, and more effective, even when things feel very hard.
The core message is: you don't have to be a perfect parent, but you do have to stay in the role of the parent. The line my daughter once said to me runs through the whole book: "You are the parent. You're not allowed to give up." Instead of asking parents to change their values, I invite them to look again at their teen: to see someone overwhelmed rather than "difficult," stuck rather than "lazy," and then to respond from that place.
To Disappear Quietly tells a very similar journey from the inside, through fiction. It follows a teenage girl who slowly slides into anxiety, self-doubt, and pressure, and who begins to lose her sense of self. There is no magic rescue, no perfect adult who saves her. The story shows the small steps, mistakes, and turning points that make recovery possible. Teen readers often recognise their own thoughts in hers and see that there is a path out of that dark place, even if it takes time and they have to choose it more than once.
Read together, the two books let parents and teens discuss the same problems from both sides of the same story.
What inspired you to write this book, and what core themes do you hope readers take away from it?
I wrote Dealing With Teen Anxiety after my daughter went through a very difficult period. Instead of asking myself "Where did I go wrong as a parent?", I found myself asking a different question: "Was there a way to make this easier for her, and could we have reached this point more softly?"
While trying to understand how to help Renée, I started reading more deeply about anxiety and child development: how the teenage brain works, why emotions feel so intense, and what actually helps when a young person is overwhelmed. The book grew out of that mix of research and real life at home. I attempt to turn what we learned as a family into something other parents can use earlier in their journey.
Two years later, Renée wrote To Disappear Quietly from her own point of view. Her story doesn't preach or diagnose. It simply shows what it feels like on the inside when anxiety, self-doubt, and pressure build up, and what small steps start to change things. Teens who read it often recognise their own thoughts and see that they are not broken or hopeless; they are overwhelmed, and asking for help is a valid, strong choice.
The main themes I hope readers take away are:
- Anxiety is not a character flaw.
- Repair and reconnection are possible, even after big arguments and distance.
- Parents and teens both make mistakes, and both can grow and do better from here.
What kind of readers or patrons do you see this book resonating with most?
Dealing With Teen Anxiety
- Parents and caregivers of young people, roughly 12–19
- School counsellors, pastoral staff, and youth workers
- Adult readers who struggled with anxiety as teens and want to understand their own story better
To Disappear Quietly
- YA readers 14+ who enjoy realistic, emotionally honest contemporary fiction
- Teens dealing with anxiety, low mood, perfectionism, or family conflict
- Book clubs or school reading groups looking for a way to start conversations about mental health and identity
- Parents who are willing to read from a teenager's point of view and want to understand how their own child might experience family life
Although To Disappear Quietly is published as a YA novel, it is strongly based on our real family experience, seen through Renée's eyes. For parents, it can be an eye-opening way to feel how their choices, words, and silences land on a teenager, and to notice what helps the connection and what quietly breaks it.
Together, the two books work especially well in families, school libraries, and community libraries where both parents and teens are reading, each from their own perspective.
What themes or discussion topics do you hope librarians highlight when recommending the book?
For Dealing With Teen Anxiety:
The idea that parents do not have to be perfect or always calm. What matters is that they stay in the role of the parent and are willing to look at their teen with fresh eyes.
How anxiety can hide behind anger, silence, "attitude," or "laziness," and how a slight change in how we interpret these behaviours can change the whole atmosphere at home.
Very simple, everyday tools: naming emotions, using basic CBT ideas in everyday conversations, and ways to repair after shouting, shutting down, or saying something hurtful.
The message that change often starts with the adult. When the parent responds differently, the teen slowly becomes able to respond differently, too.
For To Disappear Quietly:
How anxiety feels from the inside, not as a label but as a constant background in school, friendships, family, and online life.
Friendship, isolation, self-image, and the pressure to either disappear or to become the "perfect" version of yourself.
The fact that there is no perfect parent or teacher who magically saves the main character. Instead, the book shows the impact of small, imperfect but caring actions from adults, and how those moments can keep the connection alive even when the teen seems to be pushing everyone away.
For adults who read it, how a teenager in a real family sees and experiences their parents: what hurts, what helps, and what they remember.
Are there any sensitive topics or content considerations librarians should be aware of?
Both books address mental health and family conflict realistically, yet the tone remains caring and hopeful throughout.
In Dealing With Teen Anxiety:
- Anxiety, low mood, and emotional overwhelm
- Arguments and tension between parents and teens
- Parents feeling lost, guilty, or burnt out
In To Disappear Quietly:
- Anxiety and shutdown
- Negative self-talk and low self-worth
- Family conflict and feeling misunderstood at home
- References to self-harm thoughts and risky online behaviour
- Body image worries
None of these is described in graphic detail. There is no shock language, no "how-to" content, and no glorifying of harm. The focus is always on understanding what the young person is going through and on showing that support, change, and repair are possible.
If librarians or educators are selecting titles for more sensitive settings, I would describe both books as honest but protective: they do not hide the difficult parts, but they give readers a sense that they are not alone and that there are ways forward.
Are there companion resources librarians or educators should know about?
I have created a companion journal for teenagers that comes in two cover versions:
I Can Change My World (more neutral design) and Sliving It Up (more "girly" style). Inside, they are the same planner.
The journal is undated and can be started at any time. It is designed to help teens:
- organise their day in simple, realistic steps
- check in with their mood and feelings
- tell the difference between "I want to do" and "I have to do"
- reflect at the end of the day on what went well, what they struggled with, and what they might change tomorrow
The pages gently guide them toward more positive and balanced thinking, without pretending that every day is "perfect." For anxious or overwhelmed teens, using the journal regularly can make their world feel more structured, predictable, and manageable.
Both versions are available as softcover print editions.
Which formats are currently available?
For Dealing With Teen Anxiety:
Kindle eBook – ASIN: B0FPBPZKGY
Paperback – ASIN: B0FN77CC8D
Hardcover – ASIN: B0FZK5B9KW
Audiobook - B0BS5JGVPK
For To Disappear Quietly: Wanting to vanish, and learning how to stay:
Kindle eBook – ASIN: B0FYZPCPYP
Paperback – ASIN: B0FYXHRSML
Hardcover – ASIN: B0FZ4K4ZGQ
Audiobook – currently being recorded by the author, Renée Lovange
The journals are available as softcover print editions. For bulk or school orders, I am happy to discuss options.
Sliving It Up: 3 months daily planner for positive thinking
Paperback – ASIN: B0C1HZYRMM
I can: Daily planner for positive thinking
Paperback – ASIN: B0BQ9R66H5
Is there anything else you would like librarians, teachers, or educators to know about your work?
My work grew out of research and one honest question I asked myself as a mother: was there a way for us to avoid the crisis my daughter went through, so that her anxiety didn't have to become so intense? While trying to understand how to help Renée, I dived into the science of anxiety and child development. That journey led to my current project, HackParenting, where I am developing the idea of Evolving Parenting: parenting that works with a child's natural development instead of fighting against it.
I often use the image of a sailboat. We do not have to push or drag the boat; we can learn to use the wind that is already there. In the same way, when parents understand the natural "winds" of development, daily life becomes less of a struggle and more of a collaboration.
Evolving Parenting is not for one country, class, or style of parenting. It is a flexible template: the pattern of development is similar everywhere, and each family can "colour it in" with their own culture and values. My hope is that HackParenting, together with my other books and journals, can sit on library shelves as warm, science-informed resources that any family can recognise themselves in.
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