Kid Safe--The Video

Although there's no indication in either the credits or on the box, the program content in this introduction to safety for kids who are home alone sure suggests that writer/director Stuart Gordon is the same Stuart Gordon who lensed the memorable cult classic Re-Animator, as well as a handful of other cheeky horror films. Andrea Martin (of SCTV) stars as Kathy, a moronic waif, who manages to get into all sorts of bad situations while her parents are away. Gordon, who was obviously slumming and hastily wrote the script in between work on a feature film (certain motifs and shots lead me to believe that he was filming Dolls at the time he wrote this), is not so much terribly interested in presenting a coherent introduction to safety as he is in loading up on the sight gags. So when the less than brilliant Kathy can't get her cinnamon toast to come out of the toaster, guess what she does? You bet. She jams a fork into that sucker, does a fairly good impression of a lightning rod (replete with psychedelic special effects), and then deadpans: "Bad move, Kathy." In a morbid way, it's a funny bit, but I'm not sure that it's appropriate for the audience--young children--at which the program is targeted. There are some good pointers about how to call 911, what to do in the event of a fire, how to treat nose bleeds and burns, and what to do when someone knocks on the door--all delivered by the comic trio of Marty the Fireman, Tina the Paramedic, and Ernie the Policeman--but the information is clearly secondary to Gordon's campy humor. Not recommended. (See BICYCLE SAFETY CAMP for availability.)