What a wonderful premise: Rick Jarmin (Mel Gibson), undercover for 15 years in the F.B.I.'s Witness Relocation Program is accidentally found by the woman he left at the altar, Marianne Graves (Goldie Hawn) just as he's been thrown to the wolves by a jaded F.B.I. agent. Jarmin is now being chased by the DEA agent that his testimony put behind bars years ago. The personalities are good--Rick, very much still a 60s kind of guy, who's been hopping around the country working on farms, and the like; and Marianne, who traded in her yippie idealism for yuppie materialism, and is now a corporate lawyer who carries hundred dollar bills in her purse. As the pair race across the country, eluding both the killers and the F.B.I., they routinely stop over at Jarmin's former places of employment where he's left behind entirely different personalities (an effeminate hairdresser, for instance). The chemistry is there, but under John Badham's disastrous direction the whole thing blows up in our faces...repeatedly. Mel and Goldie face exploding helicopters, trains, cars, motorcycles, and enough artillery to take Europe on a Sunday afternoon, and emerge relatively unscathed. The "professionals" who are tailing them have to be the worst shots in Hollywood history--except in the absurd finale, which has Gibson shot at least twice (in the stomach and the hand), electrocuted, and roughed up by a number of falls (the last about 20 ft. onto solid rock, head first), only to sit up and crack a joke with Goldie (whose basic purpose in the film, I'll warn you, is to perform the patented Hawn high-pitch scream, ad infinitum). We don't want to knock Mel's manhood or anything, but Arnold himself would have at least winced at the end. A total mess. Not recommended. (R. Pitmman)
[Blu-ray Review—Sept. 2, 2021—Kino Lorber, 110 min., PG-13, Blu-ray: $29.95—Making its Blu-ray debut, Bird on a Wire (1990) features an excellent 2K transfer and extras including an audio commentary with director John Badham, producer/second unit director Rob Cohen, and film historian/filmmaker Daniel Kremer. Bottom line: although it looks good on Blu-ray, Badham’s ridiculous thriller is still a cinematic turkey.]