Creating Rem Lazar

This children's program which ostensibly promotes the use of imagination along with the various bundle of self-help qualities (believe in yourself, listen to yourself, rely on yourself, etc.) suffers from an almost comical overuse of MTV-style graphics. The story revolves around Zack and Ashlee, two precocious elementary schoolers who have this in common: they both daydream about a guy in a blue spandex outfit with blue hair who wears a gold "quixotic medallion", named Rem Lazar. Since teachers, principals, and parents are all authority figures (and, of course, authority figures are dirt) who won't tolerate simple pleasures like unchecked daydreaming and notepad doodling during class, the daring duo take it upon themselves to run off and sing profoundly vapid ditties to one another (complete with dreamy dissolves and heart-pumping slow motion shots). They also--from somewhere--gather all the material necessary to create their own lifesize Rem Lazar. When Rem comes to life he naturally does what any character does when there's no story to speak of, he sings. The trio then embark on a search for the quixotic medallion (meaning independence, self-reliance, power of enthusiasm, golden ribbon in a figure eight; choose your own metaphor), which has, unfortunately, been stolen by the evil Vorak who, of course, sings. Vorak, interestingly, sings about evil things "ripping at your soul tonight," inadvertently displaying the filmmaker's apparent occasional indulgence in MTV's Headbangers Ball. And Rem? Why, Rem with his oh-so-doctored studio voice could have stood in as a lead singer for Whitesnake, except for the fact that anyone over the age of five would laugh themselves silly. Needless to say, everything comes up roses in the end. But this is the closest thing we've seen to the Care Bears made flesh in a long time. Southern California coastal libraries may find some satirical value in this; otherwise not recommended. (Available from: Valley Studios, Inc., 292 Gibraltar Dr., Building AI, Sunnyvale, CA 94089.)