Kama-Sutra: The Secrets to the Art of Love

India's Kama Sutra tells us that "amorous desire and sexual pleasures are prerequisites to world harmony." Thanks to Kama-Sutra: The Secrets to the Art of Love, a visual demonstration of 50 sexual positions from the book—in 3-D, no less!—all of us can "simultaneously heighten [our] pleasure and harness [our] passion." But once you strip away (so to speak) the glossy accoutrements of the production—the soft lighting and discreet camerawork, the "instructional narration,” and the great-looking models whose body parts all appear to be original—what you've got here is nothing more or less than soft-core sex, with three alternating pairs of consenting (and well-remunerated) adults engaged in nonstop simulated coupling for the entire 75 minutes. A soothing female voice with a posh English accent guides us through the positions—the anvil, the reed, the cow, the turtle, the goddess, the yin and yang, and so on—that may be familiar to viewers by other names (one person's emu is another's dog, if you catch my drift). We're told that the monkey position is "very original and fun for those who appreciate creative eroticism…[and] it requires good technique" (i.e., only Cirque du Soleil contortionists need apply); various others are described as merely "intimate" (gee, do ya think?). None of this is especially graphic; the models are all naked, but there's no full-frontal nudity, no foreplay, and precious little kissing…in fact, it all comes off rather like those late night cable Zalman King fantasies on Showtime, and the optional 3-D component is both technically poor and simply ridiculous. Still, given the fact that a (moving) picture is worth a thousand words of instruction, this should be considered an optional purchase. Aud: P. (S. Graham)