Live and Let Go: An American Death

Jay Niver and Jay Spain's Live and Let Go would still have been an interesting enough biography about a Bedford, Massachusetts man--a beloved husband, father, and friend, who served in World War II, ran a small town newspaper, and was an active civic leader--even if he hadn't been diagnosed with terminal cancer. Sam Niver was all of that and more, and after the diagnosis he resolved to keep control of his life by planning his own death. Understandably, Niver's family had misgivings about his decision. But this wasn't some spur of the moment idea; Sam's wife and many of his friends preceded him in death, and wasting away in some impersonal facility with tubes stuck in his body seemed like a fate worth avoiding. After contacting the Hemlock Society, Niver read up on the physical, legal, and moral aspects of taking his own life, and his children eventually came to accept if not exactly embrace their father's plan. Co-produced by Niver's son Jay, this video chronicles Sam's final days (his death is shown onscreen, but it is a dignified passing, in the company of Jay and daughter Gretchen). Another son declined to attend, but speaks about his father and his feelings during the program. Heartfelt (though never maudlin), thoughtful, and honest, the program features fascinating, detailed coverage of the family's discussions about the justifications for and ramifications of Sam's suicide. Significantly, the film also includes footage of the legal authorities doing their business after Sam's death; the contrast between the impersonal nature of the outsiders (who are, of course, just doing their jobs) and the family atmosphere preceding their arrival stands out starkly. Sure to be an excellent discussion starter about end-of-life issues and euthanasia, this is highly recommended. Aud: C, P. (M. Tribby)