It’s the age-old question, isn’t it? “If you knew you were dying, what would you do?” For John Godinet, the subject of Loving John, the question becomes reality without warning, and he has a decision to make: Will he accept fate and succumb to the misery of terminal illness, or is there a better way to spend the rest of his days?
Directed by Robert Rooy, Loving John is a visual manifestation of the strength and resilience of community. It tackles incredibly harrowing subject matter with grace and levity, making what would otherwise be daunting viewing something to engage with and become a part of. From the moment we meet John on the screen, we are instantly hooked. He’s a booming Pacific Islander presence, a veteran, an abuse survivor, and an ultramarathon runner living in rural Maryland with his husband, Peter, with whom he has shared over forty years of his life.
A brilliant character requires a brilliant cast of friends, and John’s community is no different, taking it upon themselves to become his champions throughout the final days of his life. They are the evidence of the community he has built over decades, and we, joining their ranks as witnesses to his life, cannot help but come to adore him, too. John is gregarious and snappy, and although his diagnosis is terminal and his prognosis poor, he greets each new struggle with the last weapon he has left: laughter.
What this documentary does better than most of similar subject matter is ground itself in reality without tipping its hand too deeply into the melodrama of a life untimely snuffed out. In the same manner presented in the prologue of Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet or the opening song of Anaïs Mitchell’s Hadestown, we know right from the beginning how this documentary will end, and yet Rooy’s direction does a magnificent job convincing us to join John on his journey anyway, just in case we can be proven wrong.
Composer Mike Sayre has much to do with the tonal success of this film. Jaunty music paired with beautiful, sweeping shots of John’s homeland, American Samoa, do their best to chip away at the tension of the ticking clock that becomes louder as each scene progresses to the next. Although the cinematography is less polished than that of other documentaries, it only further keeps the audience in the gravity and reality of the world John and Peter are navigating together. There is no filtering away the withering of John’s body as the disease progresses, and the production team does not shy away from sharing the moments when John’s happy-go-lucky armor begins to chip in the face of finality.
All great tragedies need villains and throughout his life, John has tangled with a few. During the first two years of his diagnosis, John shares with the audience his experience with sexual abuse as a teenager and the struggles of growing up fa’afafine within an unaccepting community. He and Peter also share what it was like being openly homosexual during the latter half of the 20th century and how discrimination played a huge role in their lives together. The greatest villain of this documentary, though, is the one thing that John cannot outrun: Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis, otherwise known as ALS or Lou Gehrig’s Disease.
Another thing this film does with intention and measured patience is showcase what it really means to commit to “til death do us part”. Peter is not showcased as the hero of John’s story or as an infallible partner: greeting each day with a jolly smile and each problem with a can-do attitude. Loving John documents the real trials and tribulations of a relationship shifting from lover to caregiver and what pressure the spouse of a terminally ill person inevitably experiences. This documentary, filmed over several years, depicts incredible changes to John and Peter’s home in the pursuit of accessibility in one scene while capturing moments of silent loneliness from disconnected partners in the next. It is real. It is raw. It is exactly what we need to see to really understand what it means to love those who are dying and how important it is to build community to share the load.
This documentary is funny, earnest, sweet, and heartwrenching. It is the kind of film that one watches to remind themselves to hold their loved ones closer and to knock on their neighbor’s door, in case they might ever need their help one day. It is full of hard truths, difficult topics, and so much joy that one almost forgets the end that is coming, but that is the point, isn’t it? This film reminds us that we are all here for such a short time and we must endure so much. Regardless, in its valiant fight against the darkness of despair, Loving John proves one of Mark Twain’s most evergreen assertions: “Against the assault of [l]aughter nothing can stand.”
Is Loving John a good pick for libraries?
Without a doubt. John is such an endearing subject that movie-goers, young and old will inevitably be drawn to him, his love, and his story. It also has magnificent representation of topics and roles that very seldom get screentime. Rarely do we have an elderly, married gay couple headlining films, nor does the role of “caregiver” ever really get the representation it deserves. This film is for those who are taking care of their loved ones, young and old. It is for queer folks who need to see that their love can withstand discrimination, decades, and disease. Mostly, though, it is for those who want to witness the price and privilege of true love and community.
What value would Loving John offer a classroom?
In the same way that Mitch Albom’s book Tuesdays with Morrie is often the first introduction of ALS and other terminal diseases for students, Loving John is an accessible and gentle explanation of a disease that affects over 35,000 Americans. It showcases a difference in culture through exploration of American Samoan life, what it means to be fa’afafine, and the experience of being LGBTQIA+ as a Pacific Islander. For students of AAPI identities, those with family members or friends with terminal illnesses, or for those experiencing discrimination for their sexuality, this documentary is a Must-Watch to remind them that they are not alone in their experiences.
Rooy Media
Rooy Media
Rooy Media
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