In an opening statistic more psychologically telling than numerically accurate, viewers are told that a) 65% of men think that their penises are small, while b) 35% believe their penises are too small (obviously Dirk Diggler, played by Mark Wahlberg-plus in the film Boogie Nights, was not part of the survey). In this episode of the popular Canadian science series The Nature of Things, host David Suzuki (whose head has been electronically appended to some buff hunk of beef on the video jacket--John Hoskyns-Abrahall, I think) takes a freewheeling look at the phallus's place in "history, art, religion, and contemporary life." Exhibits include: the British Museum's collection of ancient Greek and Roman phallocentric pottery, a Hindu temple whose sculpted walls look like a Very Large Print Edition of the illustrations from the Kama Sutra, and four naked Canadian guys in a shower (I don't know what this adds to the show, but the scene does boast full frontal male nudity). Unfortunately, trying to cover the ancient religious and fertility aspects of the phallus, contemporary thinking regarding the link between man's preoccupation with his penis and (say) nuclear warfare, and modern treatments for sexual dysfunction/enhancement, ranging from Viagra to penis lengthening surgery--all in a 45 minute timeframe--is a bit like trying to cover the late John Holmes' private parts with a pair of Barbie's bikini briefs: in other words, Phallacies comes up seriously short in its attempt to provide a multidisciplinary assessment of the penis. Still, the program has its merits: I learned, for example, that after penis enlargement surgery, patients spend a considerable amount of time wearing an 8 pound weight tacked onto the end of their babymakers, and that it's possible--ladies (and gents) take note--to have erections (especially with such newfangled gadgets as the handy dandy vacuum pump) well into the geriatric years. And, hey, let's not forget the four Canadian dudes with their schlongs flying in the breeze, eh? Optional. Aud: C, P. (R. "The Big Unit" Pitman)
Phallacies
(1999) 45 min. $250. Bullfrog Films. PPR. Color cover. Closed captioned. ISBN: 1-56029-816-2. Vol. 15, Issue 6
Phallacies
Star Ratings
As of March 2022, Video Librarian has changed from a four-star rating system to a five-star one. This change allows our reviewers to have a wider range of critical viewpoints, as well as to synchronize with Google’s rating structure. This change affects all reviews from March 2022 onwards. All reviews from before this period will still retain their original rating. Future film submissions will be considered our new 1-5 star criteria.
Order From Your Favorite Distributor Today: