Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever

If it weren't for director Wych "Kaos" Kaosayananda's laughably excessive use of slow-motion, this convoluted, monotonous, mindlessly flashy, espionage-action bomb would have been about 12 minutes long. The plot--revolving around rival government intel agencies, microscopic assassination nano-bots, poorly faked deaths and new identities, a kidnapped kid, and rogue spies avenging their murdered families--is more scattershot than the endless, aimless rounds of ammunition, and it's nearly impossible to keep track of who's trying to kill whom and why. But that's of little importance to Bangkok film industry transplant Kaos: as long as somebody is getting shot or something is being blown up, he couldn't care less. Unfortunately, the uninspired bedlam that passes for action in this disaster isn't any more lucid than the story; in fact, Kaos can't even serve up a coherent gun battle. Meanwhile Antonio Banderas and Lucy Liu sleepwalk through their spy-vs.-spy title roles. One of the most incompetent big-budget action movies I've ever seen, this is not recommended. [Note: DVD extras include a 13-minute making-of featurette, a “Know Your Enemy” game, cast and crew filmographies, and a trailer. Bottom line: little in the way of extras for little in the way of a movie.] (R. Blackwelder)