Club Dread

Not so much a movie as a "Girls Gone Wild" video with the occasional slasher murder thrown in for fun, Club Dread takes us to an island of the brain-dead, where horny guys and silicone-enhanced gals romp at a tropical resort--sample pick-up line: "Wanna get nailed?"--until a mysterious figure with a machete starts offing the staff. Uh, like we're supposed to care. Presented by the Broken Lizard comedy troupe (also responsible for Super Troopers), the only thing I could muster up any enthusiasm for here was pondering why the heck Bill Paxton agreed to appear in this cinematic wreck as a burnt-out Jimmy Buffett wannabe. Not recommended. [Note: DVD extras include both widescreen and full screen versions of the film (twice the idiocy!), with audio commentaries by the Broken Lizard Comedy Team, who are responsible for this waste of celluloid. Bottom line: the two commentary tracks are far more entertaining than the film itself.] (M. Johanson)