Down and Derby

This labored tale of suburban fathers who go insanely competitive over their sons' participation in the Pinewood Derby might serve as a foul-weather time-waster on a family-friendly TV network, but on its own it's a hapless, hopeless bore. Greg Germann plays Phil, who lives on the same cul-de-sac as his childhood buddies: loudmouth Jimmy, milquetoast Blaine, and his bLte noire Ace Montana, who's been beating him at everything for years. When all of their boys enter the derby—which involves carving little wooden cars that are raced down mini-tracks—the four fathers go to extraordinary lengths to win, in effect taking over the project from the kids. The first half is bad enough, but the film really crashes and burns in the second, with a dumb bit involving the late Pat Morita as the head of a Japanese company and a terrible slapstick episode in which Phil, Jimmy, and Blaine break into Ace's house. But even this is surpassed by a curiously unsavory subplot in which the kids effectively rob their fathers blind in exchange for a promise to stay out of the way. Not recommended. (R. Blackwelder)