I Am Sam

To grasp the shameless, trolling-for-Oscars concept behind this insufferably mawkish, mentally-challenged melodrama of self-aggrandizing proportions, just imagine a tear-jerking Rain Man sequel with Dustin Hoffman in a custody battle over a button-cute seven-year-old daughter. Somebody pass the Pepto-Bismol. A patience-testing, 100-percent predictable picture, I Am Sam stars Sean Penn in an Oscar-nominated--though heavily mannered--performance as a man whose mental capacity has been surpassed by his blond-haired, blue-eyed China-doll kid, with the result that the state now wants to take her away from him. Michelle Pfeiffer is his Porsche-driving, stress-aholic, hardened career gal lawyer, who reluctantly takes his case pro-bono to prove she's not a cold-hearted hellcat. Will seeing Penn's devotion to his child inspire her to be a better soccer mom to her sullen teenage son? Gee, I wonder. Plagued by cheaply manipulative contrivances, overbearing clichés, and a painful soundtrack of godawful cover versions of Beatles songs, this is not recommended. (R. Blackwelder)