Jupiter Ascending

Jupiter Jones (Mila Kunis) is a Chicago maid living with her extended Russian family and spending most of her days scrubbing toilets. Suddenly, she discovers that she's heir to an intergalactic empire. Although initially skeptical, Jupiter is literally swept off her feet by hunky, chivalrous Caine (Channing Tatum)—a wolverine space warrior wearing hover boots—who is soaring above the Loop to escape evil forces in hot pursuit. Caine and his cohort Stinger (Sean Bean) convince Jupiter to fight evil aristocrat Balem (Eddie Redmayne) for control of Earth (it seems that Earthlings are, basically, bred as DNA livestock to be “harvested” to prolong the lives of a decadent Royal Family). Jupiter is a “recurrence”—the genetic reincarnation of the previous Queen, the deceased mother of three squabbling siblings (Redmayne, Douglas Booth, and Tuppence Middleton). Flamboyantly directed by Andrew and Lana Wachowski, Jupiter Ascending is a ludicrously pulpy lust in space saga, tricked out with elaborately vivid, eye-popping visual effects (there's even a cameo with Brazil director Terry Gilliam). Why did Warner Bros. give the Wachowskis $175 million to squander on this preposterous cosmic soap opera? For one reason: the pair made the blockbuster Matrix trilogy. Not recommended. [Note: DVD/Blu-ray extras include the production featurettes “Jupiter Jones: Destiny Is Within Us” (7 min.) and “Genetically Spliced” (10 min.). Exclusive to the Blu-ray release are the bonus behind-the-scenes featurettes “Worlds Within Worlds Within Worlds” (10 min.), “Bullet Time Evolved” (10 min.), “From Earth to Jupiter (And Everywhere in Between)” (10 min.), , “The Wachowskis: Minds Over Matter” (7 min.), and “Caine Wise: Interplanetary Warrior” (5 min.), as well as bonus DVD and UltraViolet copies of the film. Bottom line: a solid extras package for a visually dazzling cinematic mess.] (S. Granger)