Last Man Standing

Message to Bruce Willis: a squint and a smirk do not an action film make. In this lethargic--do not even think about loading this jewel into the VCR without several double espressos nearby--remake of Kurosawa's classic Yojimbo, Willis plays the imaginatively named John Smith, a drifter who winds up in a Texas border town called Jericho where rival Mob gangs compete for a pre-NAFTA (this is during prohibition, actually) trade in illegal hooch. Willis, who talks like a hard-boiled dick throughout, regularly plugs gang members on both sides so often and sits all by his lonesome on the porch, that you have to wonder why somebody doesn't introduce Mr. Smith to Mr. Wesson at the first opportunity, thereby ending the movie and putting the audience out of its collective misery. Not recommended. (R. Pitman)