No One Sleeps

"Could the AIDS virus have been created by U.S. researchers who injected prisoners with a biogenetic sheep virus?" Well, no matter how much credence you give that theory, this gay erotic thriller from German writer-director Jochen Hick will have you reaching for the remote in self-defense. Lock-jawed and steely-eyed Stefan Hein (Tom Wlaschiha) is a young Berlin medical researcher invited to an AIDS symposium in San Francisco, where he expounds the aforementioned hypothesis. Undaunted by the derision of his peers, Stefan decides to track down the prisoners himself, and with the help of street-savvy detective Louise Tolliver (Irit Levi), the amateur sleuth ends up (surprise!) uncovering a massive governmental conspiracy. No One Sleeps is uniformly awful, with a hopelessly convoluted plot and laughably bad perfs (arguably worst is Levi's enormously grating turn as the street-smart investigator, who comes off as a cross between Popeye Doyle and Homer Simpson's wife Marjorie). And when Hick isn't busy confusing the viewer, he's busy fusing the principals in a kinky but pointless romantic subplot involving Stefan and an awfully grouchy café waiter. "Research can be murder…," the box suggests. So can film reviewing. Not recommended. (S. C. Sickles)