St. Trinian's

Set at an all-girl private school in England, the gimmick underlying this fitfully funny British comedy is that the eccentric headmistress, Miss Camilla Fritton, is played by Rupert Everett in drag (he also plays Fritton's brother, Carnaby). When the stern, newly appointed minister of education (Colin Firth) decides to make an “example” out of the bizarrely dysfunctional St. Trinian's by shutting it down, an underling warns him, “The headmistress is barking mad.” So are her unruly students, including the head girl, Kelly (Gemma Arterton), and Miss Fritton's naïve niece, Annabelle (Talulah Riley). These delinquents don't want the school to close, so to raise money they concoct an elaborate scheme to steal Vermeer's Girl with a Pearl Earring from London's National Gallery and sell it on the black market, with the theft planned to take place while three of their dimwitted classmates (Tamsin Egerton, Amara Karan, and Antonia Bernath) are competing on a quiz show. Created by cartoonist Ronald Seale, the St. Trinian's concept inspired five comedies made between 1954 and 1980, so it's a shame that Everett flounders in the dual role created by Alastair Sim, and that directors Oliver Parker and Barnaby Thompson too often settle for crude humor that wants to be clever but is often downright tedious (such as a terrier named Mr. Darcy persistently humping the leg of Colin Firth, who played Austen's famed character in the A&E version of Pride & Prejudice). Optional. [Note: DVD extras include deleted scenes (20 min.), “The Official School Diary” behind-the-scenes featurette (10 min.), bloopers (6 min.), the music video “St. Trinian's Chant” performed by Girls Aloud, and trailers. Bottom line: a decent extras package for a disappointing film.] (S. Granger)