The Longest Yard

In this remake of the 1974 Burt Reynolds prison-football comedy, Adam Sandler's underwritten character loses all personality after the opening scene, in which the ex-NFL quarterback turned alcoholic loser, takes police on a drunken high-speed chase. Soon he's in a dusty desert prison, leading a team of big, mean inmates in a football game against the abusive, steroid-pumped guards for the enjoyment of a nasty warden (James Cromwell) who wants ESPN exposure for his budding political ambitions. The standard Big Game plot sees lackluster Sandler (who doesn't have the body mass to be credible as a former football player) severely upstaged by transvestite cheerleaders and muscle-bound toughs, mostly played by wrestlers or former pro football linemen who can't act. Director Peter Segal (50 First Dates) figures out how to use these lugheads for laughs, but he can't handle the movie's uneven comedy (mostly race-based one-liners) and drama (attempts at poignancy that fall awkwardly flat). If The Longest Yard had been either a little dumber or a little smarter (with less obviously scripted gridiron scenes), it might have overcome its underdeveloped game plan and underwritten lead character. But, as it is, Segal and Sandler have fumbled the ball. Not a necessary purchase. [Note: Available in either widescreen or full screen versions, DVD extras include the 21-minute “making-of” featurette “First Down and Twenty-Five to Life” (21 min.), nine deleted scenes with optional commentary by director Peter Segal (7 min.), a section called “Extra Points” exploring the “making-of” five different scenes (7 min.), “The Care & Feeding of Pro Athletes” featurette about catering on the set (6 min.), a “Lights, Camera, Touchdown!” featurette on filming the football scenes (6 min.), the music video “Errtime” by Nelly (5 min.), a “Fumbles and Stumbles” blooper reel (4 min.), a “Here Comes the Boom” music video montage (3 min.), and trailers. Bottom line: a winning extras package for a losing remake.] (R. Blackwelder)