The Saint

If you believe that Elisabeth Shue can get up and speak about cold fusion in front of a room full of expert scientists, while giggling and wearing a plaid skirt with bobby socks, and Val Kilmer can make millions of dollars simply by stealing three pieces of notepaper from her bra, then The Saint is the movie for you. Val Kilmer plays Simon Templar, a spy, thief, and master of a thousand disguises--ridiculous, laugh-out-loud, unintentionally funny disguises. When he's hired by an ambitious Russian villain (Rade Serbedzija) to steal the secrets of a scientist (Elisabeth Shue), Templar falls in love with his victim. Can the Saint save her? Yes. There, now you don't have to see it. Not recommended. (L. Russo)