Vampires Suck

A spoof is in serious trouble when it's not even as funny as its target. To wit: all three installments of the Twilight franchise offer more unintended laughs than you will find in this excruciatingly prolonged public-access-cable-quality sketch. Vampires Suck is the latest from filmmakers Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer (the duo responsible for the dreadful Movie series that include the Date, Epic and Disaster titles). Here the bargain-basement satirists concentrate on the first two Twilight pictures—recycling the plot about the high school girl (played by brooding Jenn Proske) besotted with the pale, soulful vampire (insufficiently emaciated Matt Lanter) who's sworn off human blood—while adding lots of puerile jokes, tasteless sight gags, and cheap slapstick. The Twilight movies are certainly ripe for a send-up, but Vampires Suck is no more clever than its lame title. Not recommended. [Note: DVD/Blu-ray extras include both the theatrical and unrated versions of the film, deleted scenes (13 min.), a gag reel (4 min.), and trailers. Exclusive to the Blu-ray release is a bonus digital copy of the film. Bottom line: a so-so extras package for an anemic comedy.] (F. Swietek)