xXx: Return of Xander Cage

In 2002, Vin Diesel scored an early hit with the goofy spy movie xXx, in which he starred as an extreme-sports star recruited into the espionage game by a secret agency's volatile head (Samuel L. Jackson). Diesel left the sequel to Ice Cube, but now returns a decade and a half later as Xander Cage. Louder, dumber, and even more cartoonish than the original, the new plot revolves around a device called Pandora's Box, which can turn orbiting satellites into weapons crashing to Earth, but this is just an excuse for a succession of ludicrous, choppily-edited action sequences. While on his mission to retrieve the box from a mysterious villain, Xander must put up with a scowling NSA chief (Toni Collette), but he is able to assemble a team of reckless oddballs to accompany him first to the Philippines and then to Detroit to make the recovery. The film also features a first-act cameo by Jackson, a surprise reappearance by another past xXx agent, a spectacular (but poorly executed) leap from a jet plane, and a thoroughly predictable resurrection. The most imaginative thing about this sequel is the diverse cast, cannily chosen to reflect virtually every segment of the global distribution market. Diesel ultimately dooms the film by playing Cage as such a smugly invincible hero that he becomes a beefy bore. A brainless cacophony of chaotic narrative, risible dialogue, dreadful acting, mediocre effects, and sheer noise pollution, this is not recommended. [Note: Blu-ray extras include the production featurettes “Rebels, Tyrants & Ghosts: The Cast” (20 min.), “Opening Pandora's Box: On Location” (16 min.), “I Live for This Sh#t!: Stunts” (15 min.), and “Third Time's the Charm: Xander Returns” (8 min.), a gag reel (2 min.), and bonus DVD, UltraViolet, and digital copies of the film. Bottom line: a solid extras package for a lame action sequel.] (F. Swietek)