A Place Prepared: Helping Children Understand Death and Heaven

"Ring around the rosie, a pocket full of posies. Ashes, ashes, we all fall down." Children enjoying this familiar rhyme probably have no idea that they are singing about a 17th-century English plague. In this well-produced tape, three experts in the field of death and the family, along with children of assorted ages, examine four areas: adults' honesty about death, children's emotional responses to a death, funerals, and heaven. The specialists recommend that adults begin to talk with their children about death at an early age (a falling leaf or dead bird can be a catalyst here), truly listen to their kids, not use euphemisms, speak honestly (especially if they don't know "why" a sibling had to die so prematurely), accept that death may bring crises of faith that are difficult to explain, converse plainly about what will happen at a beloved one's cremation, and involve their children in death's rituals and ceremonies. The section on heaven includes Biblical verses, principally from the New Testament, but I think that the tape, overall, would be fine for all faiths. I would have appreciated a discussion of what to tell kids about the physical aspects of death (the heart stops, etc.), but this video is nonetheless recommended for collections looking for a spiritual companion tape to Grief: How to Help Children Feel, Deal and Heal (VL-11/99). Aud: P. (K. Glaser)