How to Behave So Your Children Will, Too!; Surviving Your Adolescents

"They contradict their parents...and they tyrannize their teachers." For the wedge, were these words concerning "children" spoken by a) William Bennett (1998), b) W. C. Fields (1934), or c) Socrates (390 B.C.)? If you answered that Greek dude who swilled hemlock and ogled boy's butts, you're absolutely correct. Unruly kids, like the poor, have been with us always and legions of advisors from Plato to Dr. Spock have espoused a whole host of methodologies for safely shepherding offspring from crib to college.In How to Behave So Your Children Will, Too!, one of two new parenting seminars, best selling author Dr. Sal Severe speaks before a group of parents about raising what Bill Cosby calls the "two kinds of children: difficult and impossible." Combining anecdotes, tips, and Q&A with the audience, Severe begins by looking at common misbehaviors (temper tantrums, not listening, lack of respect, arguing--all characteristics, I might add, found in adults, reminding us once again of Wordsworth's line that "the child is father to the man") and then exploring means of correcting them. Reminding his audience that "discipline" and "punishment" are not synonyms, Severe outlines several ways of teaching good decision making to our children, including imbuing kids with a sense of responsibility and making sure that we treat them with consistency (on caving in to whining, Severe quips: "no, no, no, yes--to a 4-year-old, that's magic"). Providing solid examples of positive reinforcement, the proper handling of time outs, the power of charts and checklists, and more, Severe champions a firm, yet kind and, above all, responsible approach to parenting--one that celebrates and recognizes children as children while also encouraging parents to make kids an integral part of family life and work ("kids who can operate computers can operate washing machines"). While the seminar format has its drawbacks--namely, some repetitive material and rambling questions from the audience--the people and situations are real and Severe's astute observations drawn from decades of work both as a professional and a parent will be a boon to struggling parents. Recommended. Aud: P. (R. Pitman)Surviving Your Adolescents, on the other hand, which is based on the best selling book (also available for $12.95) by author Thomas W. Phelan Ph.D., zeroes right in on teenagers. A filmed version of Dr. Phelan's parenting workshop, this sequel to 1-2-3- Magic (VL-12/90)--his program for parents of children aged 2-12--aims to help parents learn to enjoy their teenagers, protect teens while helping them gain their independence, and lay the groundwork for a healthy future relationship. Phelan's lecture--accompanied by film clips of good and bad examples--starts off by introducing the audience to characteristics of normal teen behavior he calls MBAs (minor but aggravating), and outlining the physical and emotional changes taking place, before moving on to serious problems and risks facing teens today. Dr. Phelan sports some impressive credentials, including those from the school of hard knocks: the father of two teenagers, one with ADD, Phelan opts for a practical, down-to-earth approach to parenting, encouraging parents to establish boundaries, keep the lines of communication open, treat their children with respect and be a good listener. An engaging, humorous speaker, Phelan thoroughly covers all facets of parenting teens in a positive and upbeat manner, without belittling adolescents or talking down to adults. This well produced video would be helpful not only for parents but anyone who works with teens on a regular basis. Highly recommended. Aud: P. (L. Stevens)