Care Bears: Journey to Joke-a-Lot

Oh dear lord, the hearts, the rainbows, the giggling, and the hard-plastic-looking candy-colored CGI bears singing--please, someone make it stop! This horrifying attempt at children's entertainment puts the Care Bears, those schmaltzy-sweet '80s cartoon icons designed for nothing more than moving merchandise for toddlers, in all manner of jeopardy: racing in jet cars, flying through the air on a carousel that's broken free of its moorings, taking pratfalls, and being stuck on runaway roller coasters. Granted, this is theoretically fantasy, and the Care Bear creatures are seemingly invincible, but--if so--why are they screaming like that? Featuring five original songs about hurt feelings and cuddly-wuddly friendship, this is ostensibly the tale of Funshine, a Care Bear who apparently aspires to be some sort of vaudevillian and almost makes his dream come true in the land of Joke-a-Lot, a sort of Oz-meets-Candyland with just a soupcon of pastel Tim Burton-ish near-oddity. The cold CGI animation removes any vestige of coziness that might have been found in this giant advertisement for a long-fallen-from-grace toy line. DVD extras include deleted scenes, sing-alongs, and DVD-ROM goodies (but no explanation for the bizarre references to Stanley Kubrick's 2001: A Space Odyssey). Not recommended. Aud: P. (M. Johanson)