Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas

To understand how completely, contemptibly, and cavalierly DreamWorks has gutted the Arabian legend of Sinbad for this every-cliché-in-the-book animated adaptation, all you need to know is one feeble, outdated hip-hop-like line of dialogue: "Who's baaad?...Sinbad!" The fact that this line is delivered by an appallingly miscast Brad Pitt as the voice of a Santa-Monica-beach-bum-like Sinbad only makes it worse. The flimsy plot concerns a concocted "legend" about a special-effects-laden Book of Peace, which Sinbad tries to retrieve from the Goddess of Chaos (a shapely, Michelle Pfeiffer-voiced rip-off of The Little Mermaid villainess Ursula), embarking on seafaring and snowboarding adventures along the way. Having turned the sailor hero into a supposedly charming, valiant pirate--who nonetheless shows no trace of honor until the last reel--the film steals scenes from Homer (Sinbad's crew is beset by sirens) and Disney (Sinbad falls in love with a feisty princess, voiced by Catherine Zeta-Jones), virtually ignoring its Arabian Nights source material. Only the movie's CGI animation elements are worthy of praise, but they're so badly integrated into the mostly hand-drawn imagery that it hardly matters if they're good or not. Not recommended. (R. Blackwelder)