Allie and Me

Although Allie and Me premiered at the Singapore Film Festival in 1998, internal cultural references suggest it was shot several years earlier, and the time on the shelf hasn't been kind. Spoiled housewife Michelle (Lyndie Benson, who hasn't been seen before or since) is horrified to catch her husband (Harry Hamlin) in bed with another woman. Slightly retarded salon employee Allie (Joanne Baron) is crushed after her boss (Dyan Cannon) fires her. The women become friends and, for no discernable reason, decide to vent their spleens by becoming burglars. But things go wrong when they take a neurotic playboy (inert Melrose Place stud James Wilder) hostage and Allie falls in love. Bumbling, shrieking, and a total lack of hilarity ensue. Who is the target of the joke here? Writer-director Michael Rymer (Queen of the Damned) brings nothing new to this toothless satire of the idle rich, which features uninspired crimes, flat dialogue, and acting that ranges from horrible (Benson) or inconsistent (Baron never decides on her character's IQ) to phoned-in (Hamlin and Cannon). Not recommended. (D. Fienberg)