The King's Whore

Stars: Timothy Dalton (The Living Daylights, License To Kill, Brenda Starr), Valeria Golino (Rain Man, Hot Shots, The Indian Runner). Set in 17th-century Italy, this amusingly miscast Harlequin bodice-ripper stars the very British Timothy Dalton (that's Bond, James Bond) as the king of Piedmont, a small country in northern Italy. When a new chamberlain arrives in Turin with his young wife, the Parisian Jeanne (played by the distinctly non-French actress Valeria Golino), the king decides he must have her and tells her so. After about 40 minutes of verbal footsie ("will," "will not") between the two principals, Jeanne capitulates when she discovers that her husband has betrayed her. But still the king is not happy. The king wants love, not just sex (although he'll gladly take the latter until the former arrives, even if it means slapping the object of his devotion around a bit). When Jeanne contracts smallpox, the king gets his chance to redeem his otherwise loathsome self. Beautifully filmed, with a fine classical soundtrack adapted by Gabriel Yared, The King's Whore suffers mightily from the absurdities of its script as well as the overacting of Dalton and the underacting (something along the lines of a park bench) of Golino. Audience: The Harlequin/Regency romance crowd.