Building Close Families; Christian Counseling For Pastors And Laymen; Happiness Is A Choice

Three new inspirational titles from Christian Family Video tackle the subjects of family, counseling, and depression with varying degrees of success. The best of the bunch is Building Close Families, presented by Christian author and lecturer Tim Kimmel. Part of "Tim Kimmel's Home Carpenter's Shop," a series of workshops devoted to strengthening families, Kimmel's stand-up lecture addresses the issue of the "hurried lifestyle." Some of the attributes that Kimmel ascribes to the hurried family are: an inability to relax, the tendency to not enjoy quiet (radios, tv's, stereos, or videogames constantly going even when no one is listening to, watching, or playing them), seldom feeling satisfied, a lack of moral absolutes, being intimidated by fear and worry, and living for the rewards of success. Although Kimmel occasionally underscores a point with a general remark that's vastly oversimplified (i.e."...in the 1960s we threw right and wrong out the window"), he is generally right on the mark vis a vis our contemporary lifestyle. Kimmel's prescription for remedying our current malaise is a mixture of spiritual self-help and activities for the families to do together (exercise, having a "quiet night"--as in no electronics, etc.) Building Close Families is a good inspirational title that understands some of the possible traps of technology even better than similarly-themed secular material. Christian Counseling for Pastors and Laymen and Happiness is a Choice are both from the "Minirth & Meier Home Counseling Video Library," and feature Dr.'s Frank Minirth and Paul Meier, one a psychologist, the other a psychiatrist, both Christians and founders of the Minirth-Meier Clinic in Richardson, TX. Both radio and television personalities, Minirth and Meier offer a combination of smooth talking televangelism and fundamentalist principles. Christian Counseling for Pastors and Laymen uses a typical scriptural jumping off point ("the heart is deceitful and wicked above all things"), leaving the audience in no doubt as to where these people are coming from: the Jonathan Edwards'-"Sinner-in-the-hands-of-an-angry-God" (whips for self-flagellation, optional--but encouraged) school. The program opens with a barrage of uncredited statistics based on "scientific research": the much bandied-about and controversial statistic that 50% of all marriages end in divorce, the notion that 20% of all Americans have significant mental problems (significant is, of course, not defined), and a statistic that might well have been drawn from the Nielsen ratings for Arsenio, Leno, and Letterman--"70 million people can't sleep at night." In three syllables: balderdash. Minirth & Meier address several areas: the need for Christian counseling, using a balanced approach towards counseling, pointing out psychological applications of biblical principles, awareness techniques (what is the person really saying? what does their body language tell you? etc.), basic defense mechanisms that people use, behavior modification (which incorporates a wide range of suggested behaviors both religious and secular: live like Christ, exercise, memorize scripture, get a good's night sleep, listen to Christian music, and so on), and when and how to refer people to professionals. Although the program offers some sound basic psychological advice, every other sentence out of the mouths of the presenters seems to be a scriptural quote, or worse a mere citation ("Oh, right Frank, just like Corinthians 7:36"), as if each of us has the Bible memorized. Of course, given the fact that this is a 2-hour tape with televangelist types talking off the top of their heads, they naturally step over a couple of lines. In one of the examples, Minirth recalls a man who was having trouble with his wife, and asked Minirth "shouldn't a wife be submissive to her husband?" In a somewhat unenlightened response, Minirth answered with a big affirmative, but suggested tactfulness. And Meier adds that his modus operandi for dealing with homosexuality is very simple indeed: "Son, you got to give it up." Needless to say, Minirth & Meier are a little light in the tolerance department and seem to be living ethics-wise in the 1950s. The other Minirth & Meier title, Happiness is a Choice combines basic psychological principles with sound Christian theology and throws in some silliness to boot. The program's focus is on depression: the symptoms, the causes, the remedies. While acknowledging that clinical depression requires professional help, the basic idea behind the program is that Christian living will stem off depression (which may well be true for many people). But people looking for practical advice won't really find it here. The two most important suggestions from Minirth & Meier are to 1) commit each day to glorify Christ, and 2) meditate on scripture. Frankly, this sounds about as helpful as seeing a Beverly Hills shrink for $200 an hour. But again it's the weird remarks that get the duo in trouble. My favorite is Minirth's assertion that 10% of suffering is probably necessary and God sends it for maturity. ("And the Lord God said: I shall send a tenth part of woes unto you, so that you shall be mature." I guess it would be something like that. If anyone can find a verse roughly along these lines in their King James, please alert me.) Building Close Families, though clearly a religious inspirational title, is a solid and fairly well-reasoned argument about the perils of the hurried lifestyle to the modern family and is recommended. Christian Counseling For Pastors & Laymen and Happiness Is a Choice are for sinners, and they should therefore pay for these titles out of their own pockets (the financial pain will make them more appreciative). (Available from: Christian Family Video, 2077 N. Collins Blvd., Suite 202, Richardson, TX 75080; (800) 231-0095.)