In American society there is an unspoken practice against talking about the loss of a baby due to miscarriage, the baby being stillborn, or the inability to conceive a baby at all. Instead, individuals are expected to be stoic, carry on, and put on a good face. Today, one out of every three women will experience miscarriage, and, for women over 40, there is a 40% chance of miscarriage. In addition, more babies die from being stillborn than babies who have sudden infant death syndrome—yet research is not equivalent for the two areas. In Ann Zamudio’s film, individuals who have experienced loss, professionals in the medical field, and leaders of support organizations reflect on the nature and origins of the way society handles loss, current standards of care, and the importance of communication by all parties to address these issues.
The film opens with a woman describing the trauma of learning her baby will be stillborn as the doctor discovers the cord is wound around its neck. Other women tell their stories as well and all are heart wrenching. Many women blame themselves and think if only they had eaten better, exercised more, and so on, the pregnancy would have been successful. Society also seems to place a stigma on losing a baby or not being able to have a baby. Medical experts in the film point out in many cases, the failure of the pregnancy to take off is due to problems with the embryo, egg, or sperm. One medical expert states, for infertility issues, it is important to look at all the factors that may contribute to a lack of conception, and, that the medical profession just doesn’t’ know everything.
What is important for these women who have experienced loss is communication. Pregnancy loss organizations provide support and enable women to meet and share their experiences. Other avenues for communication include Facebook groups or Blogs. Some women have funerals for the stillborn child and give the baby a name. One suggestion presented was for every hospital to have a designated area or birth room for those individuals experiencing loss; sensitivity training should be promoted for staff and information given to patients on their rights to spend time with the stillborn baby, take a picture, or have a memento. With candid interviews and moving stories, this film is a strong optional choice. Aud: H, C, P.