How to Lose Your Virginity

Despite the title, this candid documentary is not a how-to guide, but rather an examination of the cultural value that America places on virginity. Filmmaker-narrator Therese Shechter says she waited until her 20s to have sex. For her, the first time wasn't worth the wait, particularly since society makes such a fuss about it (during the making of the film, she marries her longtime sweetheart). Shechter compares and contrasts her experience with a cross-section of women, from college students to sex educators, finding that definitions of virginity vary according to sexual background, orientation, and preferences. As gynecologist Henia Dakkak notes, all hymens are different; for some women, tearing can occur during non-sexual activity or remain intact until childbirth, meaning there isn't even a standard medical definition. Activist Shelby Knox (subject of the documentary The Education of Shelby Knox [VL-1/07]) argues that conservative pastors and overprotective fathers benefit from abstinence-only programs by denying women sexual agency; from their perspective, a young woman who engages in premarital sex—whether she signed a purity oath or not—can't offer her future husband her greatest gift, so she has failed as a woman. Surprisingly, one of the most ardent virgins here is Judy Kang, sporting tattoos and a modified Mohawk hairstyle, who plays violin in Lady Gaga's rather extroverted touring band. Other speakers include producer-director Erica McLean from the porn series Barely Legal; Harvard graduate Lena Chen, who recounted her collegiate sexual encounters in her blog Sex and the Ivy; and Shechter's friend, Meghan Currie, a male-to-female transsexual who lost her virginity as a man, but is starting over as a woman. Entertaining and thought-provoking, this is recommended. Aud: C, P. (K. Fennessy)