There is cinematic precedent for Croc! filmmakers capable of doing far better things have delivered tongue-in-cheek, culty thrillers about monster crocodilians on the loose—John Sayles with Alligator (1980) and several Hollywood names with Lake Placid (1999). Still, is that really an adequate excuse for more scales and gore?
An isolated English manor-turned-inn is a popular wedding-party destination, even though the area is so remote there is no cellular reception. Plus, an unexplained killer crocodile is at large, slaughtering and eating people regularly. The viewer learns this right up front, so it is no great surprise.
Overlooking the latest bloody killing, bridesmaids and groomsmen arrive for the marriage of Lisa (Sian Altman) and Charlie (George Nettleton). Lisa’s macho father Dylan (Mark Haldor) happens to be an adventurer-conservationist often based in Africa—and he even brought a gun. But in the long run, this counts for very little. A drunken Charlie attempts to cheat on Lisa the night before the nuptials with a bridesmaid, but the insatiable crocodile interrupts the adultery and eats the woman.
The next day the beast attacks the alfresco ceremony, and everyone runs for their lives or barricades themselves indoors from the lurching animal who, like a B-grade mad slasher, seems to be everywhere and can lash out with lightning speed at any time.
“You’re not living your best life right now,” one of Lisa’s friends comforts the crestfallen would-be bride after one massacre, adding to the impression that first-time director Paul W. Franklin is making a very straight-faced farce out of the whole thing. Other characters take aside the reverend to debate how a merciful God could permit any of this. It sounds amusing in print, but on screen adds up to an oft-tedious 81 minutes.
The computer-generated crocodile is a mildly more convincing monster than poor John Sayles had to employ, but its low-budget digital origins are betrayed by the beast almost never shown interfacing directly with the human actors, who are typically just yanked out of view—blood splashes to follow. Nude lovemaking and violence would have placed this well in R-territory.
Perhaps someday the little-known thespians here can get roles in more Tolkeinesque or Merchant-Ivory type material and Croc! will just be a fun guilty pleasure in their backgrounds, but it doesn't have to be one on public library shelves. Not recommended.