Equilibrium

A cinematic disaster so inadvertently sidesplitting it's worth watching for the ridicule factor alone, Equilibrium is derivative, hackneyed, and so full of scenery-chomping that it's a wonder the actors don't weigh 300 pounds each. The plot--brazenly pillaged from Fahrenheit 451, 1984, and Brave New World--concerns a high-ranking government “Cleric” named John Preston (chisel-featured Christian Bale), who is a ruthless and deadly law enforcer in a Metropolis-styled dystopian future where emotions have been outlawed. When Preston goes off his mood drugs and finds himself staring into the big brown eyes of a cute little puppy he's supposed to kill during a raid on a "sense offender," he...just...can't...do…it, and thereafter embarks on a Matrix-rip-off, shootout-fu mission to single-handedly overthrow the system. How did a talented cast (Bale, Emily Watson, Taye Diggs, Angus MacFadyen) get swept up in this embarrassing, B-movie bottom-scraper of sledgehammer symbolism, simplistic plot devices, logical chasms, insipid clichés, and unintentional laughs? You almost have to believe that writer-director Kurt Wimmer was holding some serious studio blackmail material. Not recommended. [Note: DVD extras include two audio commentaries (one by director Kurt Wimmer, and the other by Wimmer and producer Lucas Foster), and the four-minute “Finding Equilibrium” behind-the-scenes featurette. Bottom line: frankly, a double-disc special edition loaded with goodies couldn't save this cinematic turkey.] (R. Blackwelder)