I Hate Valentine's Day

Writer-director-star Nia Vardalos tries in vain to replicate the success of her My Big Fat Greek Wedding in this flat romantic comedy. The premise here has Genevieve (Vardalos), a gregarious Brooklyn flower-shop owner, attempting to follow a simple (and idiotic), self-imposed rule: she'll have no more than five dates with any man, because more would turn a joyous encounter into a tangled relationship. But when she meets Greg (John Corbett), the owner of a new neighborhood bar, she falls for him, and a crisis arises when she stays overnight at his place on their fourth date, and he, taking that as their fifth, cuts off further contact. She thinks he's dumping her, but even with the confusion resolved, the big question remains as to whether the two can get together again. This moronic plot is worked out with a slavish adherence to cliché, in which all the situations are formulaic and all the supporting characters are sitcom stereotypes. Vardalos is not only atrocious as Genevieve (who comes across as a Lucy Ricardo clone minus the charm), but she makes matters worse by staging virtually every scene with herself at the center, beautifully lit and smiling vacuously while barely moving a muscle. Not recommended. [Note: DVD/Blu-ray extras include audio commentary by director Nia Vardalos and producers William Sherak and Jason Shuman, and trailers. Bottom line: a small extras package for a lame romcom.] (F. Swietek)