Mean Machine

Substituting soccer for football is about the only twist that gives this unnecessary remake of 1974's The Longest Yard, one of Burt Reynolds's best films, any kind of a kick (maybe it's an American thing, but, onscreen, punting the winning goal just doesn't have the visceral thrill as scoring that last second touchdown). Vinnie Jones, such a menacing force of nature in Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels, is here curiously restrained as a disgraced soccer champion who is serving a three-year sentence after driving drunk and assaulting two cops. Jones, a true-life former soccer legend himself (infamous for the dirty play that enlivens the fictional climactic game here between the inmates and the guards) seems hamstrung playing the stoic hero who gradually wins the trust of his fellow inmates and leads his team in triumph over the corrupt warden. What's missing is Reynolds's cocksure swagger and a fresh approach to prison movie clichés. Not recommended. (K. Lee Benson)