National Treasure

This Steven Seagal-worthy joke of an action flick may well have the most asinine plot in the history of cinema, involving an invisible map on the back of the Declaration of Independence that leads to a vast, multi-billion-dollar treasure buried by the Founding Fathers. But mediocre, pedestrian director Jon Turteltaub (Phenomenon, Instinct) and his trio of hack writers (collectively responsible for Snow Dogs, The 6th Day, and I-Spy) can't seem to leave bad enough alone. Laughably cryptic, barely coherent clues lead a nerdy-cool disgraced historian (Nicolas Cage, who seems to have once again misplaced his dignity) toward digging up the loot, even though he says all he wants to do is protect it. (If it's been safely hidden for centuries, why not--to quote the Beatles--let it be?) Throw in a snarky sidekick (Justin Bartha, Gigli), a blonde in high heels (Diane Kruger, Troy), an all-purpose villain (Sean Bean), and a few implausible action set pieces (Cage steals the aforementioned document in an absurdly simple high-tech break-in), then add paint-by-numbers chase scenes and witless one-liners, and--abracadabra!--another harebrained blockbuster that would be over in 30 minutes if its characters had even a lick of common sense. Not recommended. [Note: Available in either widescreen or full screen versions, DVD extras include a National Treasure on-location featurette (12 min.), a nine-minute “Treasure Hunters Revealed” documentary on real life treasure hunters, two deleted scenes with optional commentary by director Jon Turteltaub (8 min.), the five-minute featurette “The Knights Templar” on the treasure's legitimacy (5 min.), an opening scene animatic with optional commentary (3 min.), an alternate ending with commentary (2 min.), and three “Riley's Decode This!” puzzle games. Bottom line: a decent extras package for a really dumb film.] (R. Blackwelder)[DVD Review—Jan. 8, 2008—Walt Disney, 2 discs, 131 min., PG, $29.99—Making its second appearance on DVD, 2004's National Treasure (2-Disc Collector's Edition) features an excellent transfer and Dolby Digital 5.1 surround sound. DVD extras new to this version include five more deleted scenes w/optional commentary (8 min.), a 12-minute “Ciphers, Codes & Codebreakers” production featurette, a seven-minute “Exploding Charlotte” set design featurette, “To Steal a National Treasure” and “On the Set of American History” behind-the-scenes featurettes (6 min. each), and trailers. Bottom line: more extras doesn't make this a better film.]