Perhaps only after binge-watching years of The X-Files, viewers might get laffs out of writer-director Ryan Humphreys’ unidentified comedic object, a chintzy full-length parody of UFO thrillers (alternate title for the thing is Sounds, indicating a desire to burlesque the 2002 Mel Gibson alien chiller Signs as well).
Here are the overdone stylings of the Fox Network’s moody paranormal-cop-thriller that ultimately wore thin after several X-seasons: underlit scenes shot in solemn low angles; shock-cuts and quick fades to blackouts (or, more often, whiteouts); pretentious, circular dialogue about the unknown, lacking solid answers ("I don't know!" or "I can't tell you" are common exchanges); arbitrary dream sequences and meaningless out-of-body visions; much pointless running around in dark woods. Amusing at sketch-comedy length, the stuff is a literal time-killer stretched into a feature.
The opening depicts the International Space Station exploding, allegedly due to a Russian misusing the microwave oven on a burrito. But that has nothing to do with anything. Coincident with the ISS disaster, a green glow from the cosmos crashes in a little northern California community. Black-clad Washington DC agents Miller (performer is billed a "J Peter Parker," which is, unfortunately, one of the wittier yocks) and Stiles (Richanne Baldridge) arrive. They determine a local girl, Rachel (Anna Peck), who is involved in a laboriously set up and uninteresting love triangle, has been victimized and infected by something in the green glow. Miller deduces, fairly out of nowhere, that all life on Earth is threatened due to the slimy pod-things Rachel vomits up. Everybody goes running around the dark woods more.
There are a plethora of scenes apparently meant to be funny simply because nothing happens, a meta-gag that works better on Seth McFarlane cartoons than in live-action. The good news for buyers is that the minimal plot also means little to offend: no sex/nudity or scarcely any severe violence or profanity. But there is scarcely any movie, for that matter. Not recommended for public libraries.