Rollerball

This vacuous, pure-noise-and-atmosphere update of 1975's Rollerball--a cautionary, futuristic parable about extreme sports bloodlust--is so devoid of substance it almost defies description. Flash-bang action director John McTiernan provides about eight minutes of plot and 90 minutes of heavy metal video montages showing the violent arena game that is part roller derby, part motocross, and part World Wrestling Federation--played by folks dressed like rejects from Mad Max: The Musical. Chris Klein (Say It Isn't So) stars as an athlete who discovers that the league owners are rigging the games to spill blood for better TV ratings (what a shocker). Originally released with a "PG-13" rating, the VHS and DVD versions are "R"-rated and include an additonal five minutes of nudity and ass-kicking that cannot begin to compensate for the film's other problems. Nothing but glossy violence sold as crass entertainment and edited together by someone with the attention span of a gnat, this remake is not recommended. [Note: DVD extras include cast audio commentary, rather lame text/highlight player-card profiles, a 21-minute featurette called "The Stunts of Rollerball," and a music video by Rob Zombie.] (R. Blackwelder)