Six Days, Seven Nights

All right, let's get this out of the way: Anne Heche is a lesbian. It's important to understand that Six Days, Seven Nights doesn't work because the script is a disaster, and not because Heche isn't "credible" as a heterosexual romantic lead. The story involves the prototypical tough-as-nails journalist (Heche), a more free-spirited cargo pilot (Harrison Ford), a crash landing on a tropical island, and attracted opposites who become lovers. Only two things are missing: motivation and sympathy. Heche's relationship with her fiancee (David Schwimmer) seems nearly ideal during their screen time together, making her connection with Ford just "something that happens when two people are alone on an island together." Even turning Schwimmer into an ex post facto cad doesn't change the fact that the romance smacks more of greener grass on the other side of the fence than genuine longing. In a valiant attempt to distract the audience from the deficiencies in the romantic plot, the film-makers crank up the action quotient by pitting our protagonists against pirates in the kind of sub-plot which sends the mind reeling into hypothetical meetings where studio executives offer "helpful" suggestions. Both Heche and Ford score the occasional comic hit (the latter in particular, long under-appreciated for his timing), but many of them are lost in the ridiculous situations. The film's few simple pleasures, including the lovely Kauai scenery, can't hide the absence of some reason to root for these people ending up together--the fact that there's nothing "credible" about the pairing of Robin and Quinn has nothing to do with Anne Heche's choice of real-life romantic partners. It has everything to do with her choice of scripts. Not recommended. (S. Renshaw)