Surviving Christmas

Christina Applegate has an amazing gift for being neck deep in cinematic manure without actually getting any of it on her. She creates brief shining moments of rib-tickling timing and sincerity in this otherwise rotten-to-the-core holiday ham-fest about a suburban family paid $250,000 to take in a shallow, selfish millionaire for the holidays so he can relive his childhood in the house he grew up in. Applegate is saddled with the task of falling in love with this jerk--played by Ben Affleck, who has an equally amazing gift for picking the worst scripts (Gigli, Jersey Girl), and often gives the worst performances in the resulting films, which is certainly the case here. Bursting with ridiculous, high-pitched, arm-flappingly fake yuletide glee that Affleck demands his family-for-hire emulate (per contractual obligation), his character remains an insufferable egoist throughout, but is still handed an off-the-shelf happy ending. Lifelessly directed by Mike Mitchell (Deuce Bigalow) from a slapped-together script, this movie's idea of a punch-line is Affleck bouncing on the house's rickety staircase and squealing, "You know what we used to call that squeaky stair? The squeaky stair!" Not recommended. (R. Blackwelder)