The Flying Scissors

Some “mockumentaries” treat their subjects with affection and are subtly satirical, effectively blurring the line between truth and fiction (many folks thought This Is Spinal Tap was about a real band). Others laugh at their characters, and are so obviously fake they play like broad parody. The Flying Scissors falls into the latter category. In director/co-writer Jonah Tulis' film about the cutthroat world of competitive “rock, paper, scissors” (that's “RPS” to insiders) we meet a variety of contestants preparing for the big throwdown initially set for New York's Madison Square Garden (the competition eventually lands in upstate White Plains). Players include an airheaded beauty queen (Sarah Wheeler), a trash-talking museum security guard (Mike Britt), a Korean math wiz (Keong Sim) whose real gig is men's room attendant, a tough but humorless chick (Susan O'Connor) who's out to win for the sake of women, and a recently unemployed nerd (Mason Pettit) whose wife resents being the family's only breadwinner. Put 'em together and you've got a pack of weird, clueless losers. Unfortunately, the competition—which is actually quite entertaining—doesn't take place until the last 15 minutes. The Flying Scissors might have worked as a short, but as a feature film it's not recommended. (S. Graham)