The Love Guru

Director Marco Schnabel's The Love Guru—chameleon-like actor Mike Myers' first live-action starring vehicle since 2002's Austin Powers in Goldmember—turns out to be a resounding dud offering little more than a puerile assortment of penis jokes and bodily function gags. Myers plays Guru Pitka, a self-help specialist whose dubious abilities are put to the ultimate test when he's hired by Toronto Maple Leafs owner Jane Bullard (Jessica Alba) to counsel star player Darren Roanoke (Romany Malco), whose performance in the ring has suffered ever since his wife Prudence (Meagan Good) left him for rival hockey great Jacques Grande (Justin Timberlake). What Jane doesn't know is that Pitka's relationship advice doesn't count for much: he's never been in love and is still a virgin. Scripter Myers perfectly mimics Deepak Chopra's (who also cameos here) voice and cadence, but the material is so pathetically weak that even frantic mugging and ad-libbing can't bolster it. Of the supporting cast, Alba is completely out to sea as the franchise owner; Verne Troyer, the diminutive Mini-Me of the Austin Powers movies, is improbably cast as the Maple Leaf's grizzled coach; and Sir Ben Kingsley, cast as Pitka's Indian mentor (whose chief laugh-provoking characteristic is his crossed eyes) is downright embarrassing. Not recommended. [Note: DVD/Blu-ray extras include 11 deleted and extended scenes (14 min.), a 10-minute “Mike Meyers and The Love Guru: An Inside Look” featurette, 10 minutes of outtakes, a “Hockey Training for Actors” segment (8 min.), “One Hellava Elephant” behind-the-scenes segment (6 min.), a “Back in the Booth with Trent and Jay” announcer featurette with costars Stephen Colbert and Jim Gaffigan (5 min.), four minutes of bloopers, and trailers. Also included is a bonus digital copy of the film. Bottom line: a decent extras package for an uninspired comedy.] (E. Hulse)