The Pacifier

Movies about Vin Diesel being reduced to an unmanly speck by having to change poopy diapers are not simply examples of the dictum that 90 percent of the public worldwide will watch anything flickering on a screen (especially if it features flying human excrement), but they're also tests of character...at which I continually seem to fail. Yes, I watched it, but I'm left with questions. Did Diesel read the script before signing the contract? Did someone he works with actually say, "Look what Kindergarten Cop did for Schwarzenegger?" Did the screenwriters really think that a plot involving sending a Navy SEAL to protect the whiny brats of a dead CIA scientist would be either a good use of government resources or a good source of comedic capital? Poopy diapers are the least of director Adam Shankman's dud-on-arrival family film's problems. Not recommended. [Note: DVD extras include audio commentary by director Adam Shankman and writers Thomas Lennon and Robert Ben Garant, an "On the Set with Brad Garrett” interview (4 min.), an “On the Set with Vin Diesel” interview (3 min.), deleted scenes (3 min.), a blooper reel (3 min.), and trailers. Bottom line: a decent extras package for a disappointing comedy.] (M. Johanson)