Transporter 2

Here's another bad sequel betraying everything that made the original entertaining. The B-movie, wild-ride brilliance of 2002's The Transporter stemmed from the filmmakers' (especially director/fight-choreographer Corey Yuen) commitment to not let the plot get in the way of the tongue-in-cheek, outsized action of incredible car chases and slick kung-fu. The flick not only embraced its own simplistic silliness—revolving around a glibly stoic ex-Special Forces operative who makes a living delivering anything, anywhere with no questions asked—but sure appeared to have fun doing it. Star Jason Statham retains his scruffy but well-dressed, bad-ass smirky-cool this time around, but he's continually tripped up by ridiculous, amateur-hour car chases and crashes (on the level of old CHiPs episodes), over-choreographed fight scenes (so badly shot and edited that all you can comprehend is motion), and the insultingly half-baked machinations of a convoluted screenplay (florescent green viruses and florescent purple antidotes, anyone?). If you want to make a good check-your-brain action movie, there's only one hard and fast rule: Keep it simple, stupid. On that count—and many, many others—Transporter 2 fails miserably. Not recommended. (R. Blackwelder)