Twelve

In filmmaker Joel Schumacher’s Twelve, a tale of rich but wayward youth among the Manhattan upper classes based on a novel by Nick McDonell, the central figure is White Mike (Chace Crawford), who dropped out of school and became a drug dealer after his mother was stricken with cancer. But he’s just the epicenter of a large cast of brainless, over-privileged young folk who party, drink, self-medicate, and fight over the course of a long weekend. Among them are his cousin, a serious addict who has a confrontation with Mike’s supplier (Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson); a buddy of Mike’s who’s hauled in by the cops on suspicion of murder; a dweeb anxious to be accepted by the “in” crowd; and a girl who gets hooked on “twelve,” a new drug described as a combination of cocaine and ecstasy—and is willing to do anything to get it. These are just a few of the “beautiful people” who populate this busy but boring scenario, treated by Schumacher with such earnestness (including stultifyingly pompous narration by Kiefer Sutherland) that Twelve veers very close to unintentional parody—like an afterschool special on cinematic steroids. When one of the characters calls herself “shallow and narcissistic,” she could be speaking for the whole movie. Not recommended. [Note: DVD/Blu-ray extras include trailers. Bottom line: a thin extras package for a disappointing film.] (F. Swietek)