Unaccompanied Minors

Neither Home, Nor Alone might be the alternate title of director Paul Feig's Unaccompanied Minors, a brash, annoying juvenile slapstick comedy about a bunch of youngsters—mostly children of divorced families, shuttling between moms and dads for Christmas—who are stranded at a snowbound airport, where they cause loads of trouble for the hapless employees. A pre-teen combination of several John Hughes movies—The Breakfast Club, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, and Planes, Trains and Automobiles (though not as good as any of them)—the so-called “plot” is the purest pabulum, and the five youthful characters at the center are trite stereotypes—white-bread kid, rich princess, gruff tomboy, preppy wannabe, and chubby dreamer (the adults, needless to say, are all idiots). Not the least surprisingly, the kids are involved in cartoonish chases, ultimately bond despite their differences, and even dabble in puppy love before reaching the end of their ersatz adventures (which feature the usual array of crotch-punches, belching contests, and fart jokes). Not recommended. [Note: DVD extras include both widescreen and full screen versions on the same disc, audio commentary (by director Paul Feig, writers Jacob Meszaros and Mya Stark, and costar Lewis Black), a 20-minute “Guards in the Hall” featurette with the “Kids in the Hall” actors improvising, seven additional scenes (6 min.), and three minutes of “Charlie's Dance Reel” outtakes. Bottom line: a solid extras package for a lame kids' flick.] (F. Swietek)