Unhung Hero

"I look like a big, dumb idiot. People aren't going to take me seriously." So says Patrick Moote--aspiring actor/standup comic in costume as a weiner--who embarks on a personal journey due to his professed small penis to explore whether "size matters." Patrick's rejected marriage proposal on the big screen at a UCLA basketball game is ascribed to his girlfriend being disgruntled over his dimensions. In director Brian Spitz's Unhung Hero, Patrick delves into the $5 billion penis-enhancement business (in which South Korea currently predominates). Unsatisfied by pills, pumps, and "jelqing" exercises, Patrick travels to investigate a Malaysian condom manufacturer, a Korean sex theme-park, Taiwanese penile martial-arts, and tribes in New Guinea, all ostensibly tied to Patrick's plight. Some information is enlightening--phallus length, says an anthropologist, is a modern obsession stoked by porn and hype; in reality, our ancestors were much more concerned about virility and fertility. But a lot of this documentary comes across as schtick-y, and even sex columnist/author Dan Savage voices skepticism about Moote's movie project. Not surprisingly, the film features male-member nudity (not Patrick's, however), but—surprisingly—the legendary endowment of adult-film star John Holmes (inspiration for Boogie Nights) goes unmentioned. Given the offbeat topic, this should still be considered a strong optional purchase. (C. Cassady)