Yu-Gi-Oh!: The Movie

The title means "King of Games," and beyond the clear aim of getting kids to tap their parents for cold hard cash to buy the commercially sold Yu-Gi-Oh game cards, Yu-Gi-Oh!: The Movie will be thoroughly incomprehensible to non-devotees. Full of such outrageously overblown dialogue as "Obelisk the Tormentor, show him what true power is all about!", the film features a hero, high-schooler Yugi, who looks like he gets his hair done by Sonic the Hedgehog's stylist. In this world--where strategy-card-game tournaments are as popular as soccer and the top players are rich beyond the dreams of geeky avarice, owning items such as dragon-shaped private jets--Yugi trumps all comers with his seemingly invincible "god cards," invoking the ire of his nemesis, Seto Kaiba. Ninety percent of the film consists of these silly gamer boys whipping cards out, mocking their opponents, and wallowing in power fantasies, which are animated for us in full manga-style glory, all sharp-edged dragons and round-eyed evil fairies battling to the death...or at least to zero life points. Oh, and there's some nonsense about Yugi having awakened the very naughty Egyptian god Anubis, loosing him to wreak havoc on the world. Nubie was supposed to be slumbering for all eternity, but, as the somewhat grammatically-challenged narrator reminds us, "eternity isn't forever." Sitting through this utterly insane flick sure feels like it, though. Not recommended. [Note: DVD extras include a “Monster Challenge” identifying game, music videos for the soundtrack songs “One Card Short” and “Step Up” by Jean, and a trailer. Bottom line: a paltry extras package for a lackluster kid's film.] (M. Johanson)