Hexed

Stars: Arye Gross (Soul Man, A Midnight Clear, Coup de Ville), Claudia Christian (Maniac Cop 2, Mad About You). Julian Lennon lookalike Arye Gross stars in this would-be spoof of erotic thrillers that brought in $2.6 million at the boxoffice before word of mouth hexed it. Gross plays a pathological liar named Matthew Welsh, a desk clerk at a Holiday Inn-type hotel. When a world-famous French model named Hexina (Claudia Christian, who was clearly not cast for her thespian abilities) checks in, Matthew scams his way into her life by intercepting a phone call from someone Hexina hasn't actually met. The bad news for Matthew is that the someone turns out to be a blackmailer whom Hexina is planning to wax. The even worse news for viewers is that Matthew and Hexina spoof the love scenes in Fatal Attraction and Basic Instinct before she tries to kill him. Without question, the overboard sex scenes in the originals are far funnier. As it flails around with tired stereotypical secondary characters and flat jokes, Hexed does what all bad comedies do when they can't be funny; it becomes louder and more desperate. The actors are forced to go through lame routines that circus animals with an ounce of sense would balk at. The film's nadir arrives with an extended and very tasteless takeoff on the Rodney King beating. Although Hexed does have a couple of legitimate yuks, it's mostly dullsville. Come to think of it, last year's Presidential candidate debate had more laughs, and that was on free TV. Audience: People without brains. (R. Pitman)[DVD Review-- June 28, 2005--Sony, 93 min., R, $19.95--Making its first appearance on DVD, 1993's Hexed sports a nice-looking transfer and Dolby Digital surround sound. DVD extras include audio commentary by director Alan Spencer, three deleted scenes with optional commentary (4 min.), a promo featurette (4 min.), and trailers. Bottom line: a decent set of extras for a terrible film.]