Stealing Heaven

With the current crop of controversy over secular treatment of religious topics (The Satanic Verses, The Last Temptation of Christ, Madonna's "Like a Prayer" video, etc.), this soft-core porn treatment of Marion Meade's novel which follows the ill-fated 12th century love affair between Heloise and Abelard, may get an unwarranted boost in publicity. Dutch actor Derek de Lint plays the Parisian monk and teacher (with a Dutch accent, no less), and Kim Thomson is the coquettish Heloise, whose idea of serious theological dispute is to wonder about God's private parts. But this Harlequin bodice-ripper sprung to life is played in a tediously serious fashion--with endless discussion from religious students, nuns, and priests, as well as the two principals about physical love. And, occasionally, in a room, in a stable, against a wall, words fail the main characters...so to speak (at least in the "unrated" version, the "R" rated version has been trimmed.) Denholm Eliott, a fine British actor, is thoroughly wasted in the role of Fulbert, the mercantile uncle who vows revenge against Abelard for stealing his profitable niece. Heaven is not the object of theft here, time is. Not recommended. (R. Pitman)