Street Asylum

Watching Street Asylum is a bit like stepping into something unpleasant on the pavement; it won't really hurt you, but it does tend to put a damper on the day. Wings Hauser stars as Arliss Ryder, a Hollywood cop who's assigned to the police force's S.Q.U.A.D. team-an elite anticrime unit whose members not only have an uncanny sense for sniffing out "scum" who lurk behind closed doors, but also adopt a simple solution to each situation: an Uzi set on automatic fire. The whole street-cleaning scheme is the idea of mayoral candidate Jim Miller (G. Gordon Liddy, whose jump from the B-politics of the Watergate era to B-movies is at least relatively harmless to the nation). As Ryder's partners begin to self-destruct, he discovers that they all share in common a mechanical device implanted in their backs, which turns them into bloodthirsty, oversexed animals who blow away degenerates (including themselves). Justice, or at least a warped version of it, wins out when Ryder's girlfriend does a little impromptu surgery on Ryder's back and removes the device (which apparently is hooked into the spinal cord). Believe it or not, Ryder immediately gets up, goes out, and has a final confrontation with Miller. Most derogatory adjectives apply here; so let us just say that this is definitely not recommended. (R. Pitman)