Abigail Arcane (Heather Locklear) travels to the swamps of Florida after her mother’s mysterious death, seeking answers from her stepfather, Dr. Anton Arcane (Louis Jourdan) in his expansive and bizarre antebellum mansion. There, Dr. Lana Zurrel (Sarah Douglas) and Dr. Rochelle (Ace Mask) assist Dr. Arcane in all matters of unethical genetic experiments in the hopes of cheating death. These experiments create all types of mutant monsters kept imprisoned beneath the mansion.
During an excursion in the swamp, Abigail is attacked by moonshiners. Her cries for help attract Swamp Thing (Dick Durok) who emerges from the muck and dispatches the attackers. Dejected lover and outspoken vegetarian, Abigail takes an instant liking to the strange green man. The rest of the film unfolds as Dr. Arcane tries, again and again, to capture Swamp Thing to use his unique genes in his insane immortality experiments.
This movie is a hoot. It never takes itself too seriously and is loaded with cheesy lines and bizarre characters. The extras are numerous, unexplained, and often unnecessary. The number of guns on the screen makes you wonder if you’re not watching a movie about drug running or mercenaries. The cast is a mixed bag of stars and unknown faces. B, C, and D plots run around like dogs off-leash. One thought that came to me more than once is “wow they sure spent a lot of money designing these sets just to light them on fire.”
This is the type of flick that leaves you wondering if it’s just a bad movie that made you laugh or if it’s a perfect satire of the bad movies that make you laugh. Sprinkled throughout are references to other movies like Predator and Ghost which add viewing enjoyment. In all, it’s a movie that leaves you thinking “what in the world did I just watch,” but in the best way possible. The Return of Swamp Thing is Recommended.